My Journey to Become a Mom

A couple of weeks ago I had my first phone call check-in, I got a new adoptive parent coordinator and I am really excited to be working with Sam. Sam is the fourth person I have been working with. My initial person went on leave, the second person I had a phone call with but I am not sure she was assigned me to, the third person sent me an email that made me question if she knew my case at all, and then I got Sam. She told me my profile had 7,000 views (this seems crazy to me but they use market research) and that is an unheard of number, and my profile went out to three moms. I don't know if I have explained selecting my preferences process. A) gender - I don't have a preference B) race - I don't have a preference C) Adoption type- Open, Closed, Semi- Private - I don't have a preference D) Drugs and Alcohol Any THC during the pregnancy Any Alcohol after the first trimester Prescription Drugs monitored by a physician and this can include : Suboxone, Methado...

This post is long overdue and a lot has happened. When I really started the process there were a few things I started thinking about. It is unlikely that my baby will come from Washington, so I have started vaguely planning.  I can start with a gender neutral diaper bag and some outfits, diapers, until I know for sure that rights have been signed away and the revocation period is over and we are headed home I won't be sure, the agency says 50% of adoptive parents match and complete the process and the other 50% have failed first matches but complete on second or third match.  I could know the birth mom and potentially meet her and know the gender of the baby I am adopting but until we are headed home it won't feel real. On my way from the airport I will stop at Target and Wal-Mart and buy a car seat and formula. I can get a crib now. At work one day one of my co workers was asking if I had ever thought about a nursery, and really I hadn't, I guess I thought I would decide...

I never thought it would be me, I was acutely aware of getting older and still being single, but I had been hopeful every year, this is my year, I will meet someone, I will have a baby, I will get to be a mom. And then it all came crashing down, when I saw my CT scan. I just knew. I cried more ugly tears, felt more heart break, loss, devastation, failure than I could ever imagine.  I was at my lowest,  there aren't really words to express how bad I felt. There are some times still I just cry, I cry because I don't get to be pregnant, I cry because I don't get to experience a baby inside my body, I don't get to experience labor and birth. I see other people with their new babies and I am jealous, and that is an emotion I don't like at all in myself, which starts a cycle of beating myself up. Many of my friends have experienced infertility, and for every one of them I  have known  about I have cried for them. I don't know if it's because I have many friends...

On Monday I had a Face Time call with the agency, the meeting took about an hour. They discussed the process, learned about me, and used this to help determine if they think I am a good fit for the agency. She showed me about  the profile they create for you looks like. I was really nervous, the person I spoke with was great. This agency has five criteria they have you set, and the mother sets some as well. The first criteria is race, second criteria is gender, third is post placement communication, this means closed, open or semi-open adoption, the fourth criteria is expectant mother support, and the fifth criteria is drugs/alcohol. I don't have a preference in the first three categories. The fourth category is expectant mother support in the third trimester, some examples of this include paying expectant mother rent, utilities, and groceries. The agency has an average amount that is given, do I worry that if I give this money to the expectant mother I will be worried she won...

Let me be clear, I am just beginning the process, and by no means am I an adoption expert! I don't know how much to write or how much to share, I am a very transparent person and will probably overshare from time to time.  As soon as I found out I needed a hysterectomy, I switched gears and started towards adoption, I have always wanted to be a mom.  I reached out to a friend my friend Charity, to find out what agency she used. I began diving into the deep reaches of the internet on adoption. A lot of my coworkers suggested I get in touch with Jill, a former ER nurse who also adopted, also a cousin of my friend Bridget.  I reached out and started researching the agencies that were recommended to me.  I always thought I would do foster care when my kids were older (when I still thought I could have kids) I know a couple of people who had foster babies from when they were a couple of days old until around age three, and after age three the kids went back to bio pa...