Adoption preferences


A couple of weeks ago I had my first phone call check-in, I got a new adoptive parent coordinator and I am really excited to be working with Sam. Sam is the fourth person I have been working with. My initial person went on leave, the second person I had a phone call with but I am not sure she was assigned me to, the third person sent me an email that made me question if she knew my case at all, and then I got Sam. She told me my profile had 7,000 views (this seems crazy to me but they use market research) and that is an unheard of number, and my profile went out to three moms.

I don't know if I have explained selecting my preferences process.
A) gender - I don't have a preference
B) race - I don't have a preference
C) Adoption type- Open, Closed, Semi- Private - I don't have a preference
D) Drugs and Alcohol

  • Any THC during the pregnancy
  • Any Alcohol after the first trimester
  • Prescription Drugs monitored by a physician and this can include : Suboxone, Methadone, Narcotics, Xanax, anti-psychotic medications, 
  • Illegal Drugs

At this point I am saying yes to THC only, if in a year I have not been selected I may change my choices. I have seen some really bad w
withdrawals from prescription drugs, and I am open to feedback from you my friends.
E)  The final category is support to birth mother during the third trimester. This money is used for bills, can be used towards groceries. Many moms who are considering adoption are in dire circumstances. This is a widely accepted practice in adoption. It makes a lot of people question including me but I have come to accept that if this money helps the mom to grow my baby healthier and be less stressed it is worth it to me. The money is usually paid to the lawyer or a social worker or I pay a bill on the birth mom's behalf. The birth mom is not receiving cash from me. I can send gift cards for maternity clothes or groceries through either the social worker or the lawyer.

When the birth mom contacts the agency she indicates an amount she will need during the third trimester. On my phone call with Sam, she indicated the average is $3,500, and that last year 5 moms needed $1,000 or less, and 100 moms needed $2,500 or more (I did not know this statistic when I set an amount) . If a birth mom indicates an amount more than I have indicated I am willingly to pay, my profile won't go to those moms.
Sam said that if I am able to up my birth mother support my profile will go out to many more moms and that will increase my chances of getting a baby sooner. Speaking of getting a baby sooner, I have been waiting my whole adult life to become a mom but have only been in the process for two months and it seems like forever.

This year I will be able to claim the adoption tax credit and get some of my agency fee back when I do my taxes. If nothing changes any fees or money I use in 2019 I will be able to claim as well. When   I adopt there will be lawyer fees and the cost of staying in baby's birth state until we are cleared to come home. So with all of this in mind, I have been picking up overtime shifts. I am working on building up my paid time off for maternity leave, and saving money. I am very fortunate that there is often overtime at my job, and we are coming to Flu season (there is always overtime).

So I am in the waiting process. This is kind of some the behind the scenes information. I will keep you all updated.


Comments

  1. Kylie DaveyAugust 22, 2018 at 12:17 AM

    I love seeing this!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. K.R.August 22, 2018 at 9:55 AM

    You are a walking, breathing miracle! This will be nothing less than miraculous!

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownAugust 26, 2018 at 3:41 PM

    Love the behind the scenes accounts! It's so very interesting to me what is all involved. Keep it up sista! You are going to be a great Mom :)

    ReplyDelete

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